It wasn't the first time, honestly, but it was the first time with a real knife.
Before he'd always used a foam sword when he told me to kneel and bare my neck for some head lopping play. Or when he grabbed my arm and thwacked it with the soft sword, it barely hurt. It always ended up with a good laugh, usually after someone on Fetlife had gone on about "What if he eats your limbs??? Limits! Safety! Newbies!"
A couple of weeks ago we had been having a serious discussion about possessiveness and ownership and to make his point he told me to go fetch a knife so he could cut my arm off. I went across the room to the knife block and looked at several before I found the sharpest one. I came back and handed it to him. He took off my shirt, and began to press down with the knife just below my shoulder. I looked away.
He stopped and said "You didn't think I would cut your arm off, did you?"
"No, I know you won't", I answered. I wasn't even really frightened. I knew he wouldn't, so it was just one of those whims I had to obey. Wait and see what happens next. It may or may not hurt, but I was confident I wouldn't be harmed.
"Well, why not?" he asked.
"You like my arm attached?" I guessed.
"Try again." he said.
"You don't want to have to take me to the hospital to get it put back on, because it would be messy and expensive?" I laughed.
"It's because I would never want to do anything that was harmful to you."
This was his point. It doesn't just apply to crazy things like limb lopping, but also to emotional issues, to the things that go on in my head. Possession. Property. If you have one you take care of it, or you wreck it.
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Your Master makes some very good points.
ReplyDeleteYep.
ReplyDeleteAnd oh...those whims that have to be obeyed.