I'm feeling a lot more like myself now, and trying desperately to get the house back into some sort of organized and clean state. It's amazing on how fast it turns into a disaster when I'm sick. Yesterday I even did some touch-up painting in the bathroom.
Except for last night, when Master was exhausted by work and went to bed early, we have been getting back into the daily beating routine. This makes me feel more like myself than anything else does, happy and content with my place in his life.
Last night, even though he was tired, he made me do a bit of role playing (humiliating) and I was allowed to suck his cock (very gratefully) and he had a quick fuck. I adore and love my Master.
On Fetlife, one of the groups has been discussing "breaking" as in getting rid of the old life/patterns/ways of thinking and establishing purely slavish ways. This was never done to me, and I actually don't think it is neccessary in all cases, but perhaps for some people they would never get to be a slave without it. Any one else have thoughts on this?
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About 6 months give or take the subject of 'breaking' did the rounds on blogger.
ReplyDeleteMy take on it is that 'breaking' is about knocking down the proverbial walls that submissives build up around them, so yes in a way getting rid of old patterns etc.
However i see it not as being for the purpose of establishing purely slavish ways but rather to be able to move forward in enslavement, free of indoctrines that todays society instill in us.
Im not very good at opening up for example, even though i have been with my Master near on 6 years i still try to hold parts of myself back, i still have odd moments of shame, that what i do and enjoy is wrong, so he uses 'breaking' as a way to get past this..its never about making me 'less than' but rather 'freeing' me.
x
Thank you, tori, that makes a lot of sense as a process and a reason for the process. I still have those moments too. He pretty much just pushes me on ahead and makes me do what I really want to do but at the moment feel ashamed to want.
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