Wednesday, January 30, 2013

And More Rapey Goodness

"Well, if it makes you feel any better, some people claim that raping a slave (one's own slave) is impossible because rape only applies to people".   

This is what I said to Master after he told me perhaps, being a liberal politically, he should not enjoy raping me so much. 

And I'm not talking about the kind that makes people hate and go to jail, repectively.  I'm talking about play rape.   It's part of what we do; what a lot of M/s couples enjoy.  The force. The violence. The struggle.  Saying no and having it only encourage him.  

"Want to play rape? No? That's the spirit".    It is sooo hot.   

And in case you are wondering, yes I was attacked and molested when I was young.  Just once. He was a stranger.   I never saw him again.   I will never forget.  And I enjoy hating him to this day.  He threatened me with a knife if I did not do what he wanted.  And I was a kid.  A fucking little kid.  I hope someone found him and cut his balls off.  And then fed them to him.

 Anyway,  that has nothing at all to do with what Master and I do.   It doesn't even come slightly to mind when we are playing with violence.   It comes to mind now as I write because of what comments people have made before: about reliving violence through play acting.  Or the opposite way- no one who had ever experienced sexual violence could want to play at it.    I don't believe it relates at all for me, at least I can find no relation in my brain.  

Now many years ago, yes, certain things, certain actions, not even forceful ones, but certain touches or areas of the body where it would seem perfectly ordinary that a lover would touch, would trigger painful memories.  He just kept doing them anyway until the associations faded.    I'm not going to say it works for everyone, but over time it did for me.     

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