Sigh....

I'm sure most people know that coming back home after a fun event often includes some sad feelings, but for as many events as I have been to, of the vanilla and kinky kind, nothing has affected me the way Camp does.   I know a lot of people feel this way, that Camp is their real true home, and their own house is just where they live the rest of the year.   It is all because of the people, and the atmosphere.  There is freedom there, to do and be who you are 24 hours a day without censure or judgement.  You can wear clothes, or not.  You can fuck on a picnic table, or not.  You can beat people up or get beat up, as you desire.

I love watching people there, so many of them fulfilling their most sick and twisted fantasies, and everyone else just nodding with a  "You go girl/dude/person" look.  Some of these fantasies are scary and violent, and one is free to walk away and not watch- "change the channel" as they say, but one does not interrupt.  

Everything is not joy and fun though.   With camp inevitably comes sadness.  All sorts of emotions are happening out in the open.  Many people feel free to cry as the spirit moves them; remembering past history and releasing pent up sadness is a common occurrence.  

As I mentioned yesterday, I cried a couple times at camp.   

Then on returning home comes the inevitable "event drop", the sadness of not being with the tribe anymore.  The empty feeling when I see my Master go off to work each day, badly missing being by his side almost constantly.    

Not to say we are not still having fun at home.  Last night was particularly violent and satisfying for both of us.   But now I'm sitting here staring at my computer, thinking about all the friends on the other side of it, some of them looking at their screens too, maybe trying to connect with some of them, but it is just not the same as being able to see and touch, being enveloped and surrounded by them.