Unlike many slaves, I have (had) a safeword. Of sorts (explanation coming soon). I have not abused it to get out of things I don't feel like doing. I take pleasing my Master seriously, and also, I enjoy even the painful stuff. Masochist, ayup.
Recently I was trying to explain why I never safeword, even when I'm crying and blubbering and begging. It is not just being stubborn. Yes, I am stubborn, very stubborn, but I really don't think that is the whole reason. The way I tried to explain was I think of the pain as mountains to climb. Sure, it may be hard work and uncomfortable climbing up that slope, but when you reach the peak the views are fabulous. I'm always seeking the next peak. Also, my Master really is not that hard on me and does not try to give me more hurts than I can take.
When I play with other people, we discuss the safeword system beforehand. I use the typical red/yellow/green stoplight system. The furthest I have gotten is to say yellow a couple times, which means "Ease up a bit, that is hurting in a worrisome way". Once (I think?) with my Master (because of extremely painful pressure on my stomach) and once with Mystique (being whipped on a sore spot).
Way back almost two years ago, I had a different safeword, and I did try to use it once because I fell and I was scared that I was strangling by my neck. I was so deep in subspace I couldn't remember the word and ended up coming out with "Help, help, help", and he immediately released me from bondage.
Anyway, back to the present: Last night Master and I went for a long walk, enjoying being alone and the slightly cooler weather. This week has been hot, even in the middle of the night, and humid.
I chirpily told him that Scott had said if we played together I would get a safeword. He wanted to see if he could make me use it. I don't know why I said that, it was probably unwise in several directions, looking back at it. But that is me, chronic foot in mouth disease.
Master said "I'm changing your safeword to antidisestablishmentarianism then. Try to say it now."
"Antidis-" I got that far when he gave me the signal to orgasm. Right in the middle of the road. No one was around, this being way out in the country on a back road.
"Antidisest-" and again he made me come.
"Anti-" and again, I was bending over and unable to speak for a few seconds.
This time I closed my eyes so I couldn't see him give the hand signal.
"Antidis-" I tried. "Come" he said, and I did.
When I recovered, he casually commented to me, "Oh look, a big hill full of those nasty, red biting ants."
I peered over at the ants. The hill was almost two feet wide, and very busy.
"If you try to say your safeword again I'm going to make you sit on that anthill."
I finally (finally!) managed to STFU.
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LOL...well I can't come on command but I am learning when to STFU:)
ReplyDeleteI almost always play using safewords. I have one play partner who is a RAC player. She pushes my limits constantly, but I know she will not injure me. I feel safe with her, but know I will experience lots of pain.
ReplyDeleteHug,
joey