You never know where you are going to find a lesson.
Sunday, I made a plan for the kids to be out, and we would have a few hours alone together at home. He liked that idea.
So we got home, and I was so nervous (of potential painful things) and excited (yay, sexy times and ouchie things!) that my stomach was doing flip flops. We had a couple short hours to play.
Master tells me to change into something sexy. I put on a little black nightie, and my leather collar. When I come back he sits down at the computer to play his game and says "Rub my feet, slave". So, ok, I rub his feet, all is well and good. A little relaxation for him.
The time is ticking by.
I start to get a little anxious.
Maybe he doesn't really want to play with me. Maybe computer games are more interesting than me. Maybe I'm that boring. Maybe he's mad at me.... argh my brain, why does it do this?! I don't ask any of that out loud because it never goes well. He wants what he wants, which is not to hear my brains hamster wheel in action when he's trying to relax. (For those on Fet- obedience vs. transparency discussion- sound familiar?)
Then I start to put all that out of my mind and think only of the moment, and how it is good that I can serve him as he wants to be served. I'm here for his desires, not the other way around. I let myself enjoy the fact that he makes me wait. I let myself enjoy being his slave, and am realizing the only thing that matters at this moment is his pleasure and my submission to his will.
Then I switch to rubbing his other foot.
I have no idea what he's thinking about, but the only things he says to me are "Enjoy your humility, slave" and other encouraging comments, but a while later he tells me it is time to tie me up and beat me. My mind is in a good place. Relaxed, servile, ready.
He told me to strip, gave me a few hard strikes with the cane which made me yip and dance, and tied my hands to the rafter. There was much beating with canes, misery stick (ow!) and belt, then fucking, and then he thoroughly plundered my ass before pulling out and decorating me with come.
Afterward I asked to stay home, because I was pretty well worn out and wanted a moment by myself, but he said no, I was coming with him because he wanted me with him. I appreciated this almost as much as my foot rub lesson. It actually made me smile when he said no. Such a powerful little word.
And everything is suddenly all right. I am happy to do what he wants just because he wants it. Happy to be his creature.
I like to be reminded that he's in charge, that any pleasures come from him on his schedule, including whether or not I get after sex relaxation time.
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