Tuesday, August 28, 2012

The Dynamic

I'm reposting this from a thread on Fetlife, because my Master read it and liked it.   It is my response to some specific questions.  

Dynamic is a good word, because it does change, has changed and evolved.

Here is the question, what is your dynamic like?

He is the Master, I'm his slave. So, he owns me, I'm his property from inside to outside, which gives him the right to do as he likes. We are also married and in love. He cares deeply about me and wants me to be happy. I feel the same for him.

How did you know that the dynamic you had would work for you?

I didn't. It just evolved that way, with him gradually taking more power and control and me giving it up.

What makes that type of dynamic work for you?

The less intense, part time or incomplete control dynamics did not work for me. We tried that for a few months, as a way of dipping our toes in. It left me unsure and confused. I just wanted black and white, he owns me, none of this negotiation or having power left for myself. He didn't want bedroom only submission either. He wanted to be in charge and have me do as he said. He still likes my input on things, but doesn't let that stop him from doing what he wants.

Is it different now than at the beginning your relationship? How did it change and why?

Yes, totally different. We started as an equal and pretty much vanilla couple.

As far as the parts of our dynamic that touch on sadism/masochism and punishment:

 I feel these are very much still evolving. He does not admit to being a sadist. That is, seeing pure pain and suffering does not turn him on. However, he does say that he gets great joy out of tormenting me. The fact that his torments turn me into a helpless puddle of wanton goo absolutely delights him. Even when they are painful torments. Especially when they are painful torments. He also likes the mental/emotional kind. The mindfucks.

I will admit to being a masochist, up to a point. Turned on by pain, yes, up to a point. Turned on by being forced to go past the pleasurable pain point, oh my, yes, even better.

We also have a punishment dynamic, which is a delicate thing to work with when I enjoy the force and the physical. But he manages it. There has been some trial and testing of things there.

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