Dead Woodchuck

Unlike this woodchuck, my love for you will never die. 

...is how NOT to make a romantic gesture.  Unless you mean love coupled with implied threat.   

So that was a classic Dilbert comic strip, but in life imitating art, in Our Town newspaper, in the police report column this week, this noteworthy event was printed:

At 9:34 pm Friday an employee at _____ reported someone left a dead raccoon next to the boss's car with a threatening note.
 

I get more laughs out of the police column than the funnies most weeks.