I was told by both Master and Mystique yesterday that I had on a look which said I had not been getting enough beatings. What this look was, I have no idea. I didn't complain or hint or think I was looking any particular way.
Anyway, though it wasn't very intense compared to sometimes, on Sunday Master had beaten by breasts with a wooden spoon and left a small bruise. Still, somehow I had this look of needing more, I guess.
Master asked me if I would like to be beaten and I said yes. I always say yes, because I always do, either for my pleasure, his pleasure, or both.
He tipped me forward, head down, butt up, kneeling. He started with a cane, and a paddle.
Master hauled me to a standing position by the collar, with me trying to make sure my legs were supporting me rather than hanging by my neck as he lifted. He laid me over one knee and paddled me. He turned me away and used the soft flogger on me, which felt relaxing, and then back to the paddle, which was not even a little bit relaxing. He took a thick cane, put it between my legs and nearly lifted me off the ground that way. I came as he was telling me how he had done that to someone else and she had come up all the way off the ground. I hadn't known that before.
He told me to suck his cock, and eagerly I did. He took me to the bed, helping me because I had gone quite spacey and unsteady. More paddling, a great deal of sucking and fucking, and I was ready to pass out. It was a great night.
I woke with some guilty feelings, for not deserving such a good time, after I completely neglected, on purpose even, one of my chores yesterday. Instead of telling Master, I got out the shoe polish and rag and did his shoes without him asking me to. I'm not sure he noticed, but anyway, I feel like I'm just compounding fault on top of fault this week.
Even on top of the guilt, I still feel extremely good. I made it to yoga class. He said if I don't go he'd cancel my membership, so I had to go. It is great for centering and relaxing, not to mention exercise.
The other thing that really helped my attitude this morning is that he gave me the assignment to write out everything that happened, and all my emotions about it, on Sunday when he was playing in my mind.
Playing in my Mind
A lot of that stuff was glossed over in the blog because it is just too personal. It was tough to get started writing it down, but once I started it all came torenting out in an ungrammatical mess.