Tuesday, May 7, 2013


This was posted by oORavenOo, aka megan, as an explanation of the difference among a bottom, a sub and a slave.   It pretty much hit home for me, so I'm reposting it with permission.   

A Top, a Dom, and a Master are all sitting poolside on a warm, summer, day.
The Top says to the bottom, "Get me a can of coke". The bottom looks at him and says, "Dude, where's your manners?"... the Top adds, "...please?". The bottom, satisfied, smiles, gets up (getting a slap on the ass from the Top as she does so), goes to the cooler, grabs the first two sodas she finds, and gives him one of them, and keeps the other for herself.
The Dom says to the sub, "Get me a can of coke". The sub runs off to the cooler, and knowing that when He says "coke", He means it as a generic term to mean "any cola flavored drink". The sub digs around and finds His favorite- RC Cola. Since it's so hot, she pours it into a glass of ice for Him. She notices it's also almost noon, so she quickly makes Him a sandwich as well. His comfort is the foremost thing in her mind.
The Master says to the slave, "Get me a can of coke". The slave bows and runs off to the cooler, and pulls out an 8oz can of Coca-Cola, unopened, and quickly returns to Him. The slave is unconcerned as to why Coca-Cola and not Sprite, or why a can and not a bottle. As far as she knows, that can is going to be lobbed into the pool for her to fetch like a dog, going to be shaken up and sprayed on her, shoved into some orifice, or might actually get drunk by somebody... she doesn't know, nor does she care- her only concern was a can of Coca-Cola, returning it as quickly as possible, and nothing else, as that is what would please her Master.


See, it is the mental state between the Dominant and the submissive that defines whether they are Top and bottom, Dom and sub, or Master and slave.
the Top and bottom only play during scenes, and have no power exchange outside of those scenes.
the Dom and sub have a power exchange outside of scenes that is based upon submission, with the focus being upon thinking of the Dom's desires and comfort, and the feeling of inferiority or smallness from the sub, where questioning and negotiations are permitted. it is akin to a "regular joe" being with a "Celebrity" sort of feeling of being "out of their league, yet i'm with Them".
the Master and slave have a power exchange outside of scenes that is based upon obedience, with the focus being upon precision to the Master's orders, and the unconditional and unquestioning obedience from the slave, regardless of the comfort level of the slave. it is akin to a "private in the military" taking orders from a "General" sort of feeling of "knowing your place, and having a duty to fulfill".
...the difference lies in the fact that the sub's focus is on submission (learning, listening, and understanding ...recognizing that the Dom's words can be likened to "good advice that should be heeded" ...before doing), while the slave's focus is on obedience (doing without thought being an issue ...recognizing that the Master's words are law, regardless as to how good they are).


And my additions:

It is all about obedience for me.  My Master has emphasized this to me many times.  He doesn't expect me to be a mind reader, he expects me to obey.   I have some autonomy, when I'm home alone, or if I think to ask if he wants something, but the main requirement is obedience.

Last night I got a horrible cramping stomach ache, and ended up curled up on the bathroom floor.  He couldn't hear me over the TV, but when he did come to look for me, he brought me medicine.   I took it, even though it was the last thing I wanted since I felt like I would vomit.  But he said, "Here, take this", so I did.   After an hour or so I felt well enough to make it up to bed.    


  1. Very interesting interpretation. There was a time when one would make a sandwich before he asked, she quickly learned of he didn't ask don't do it.

    Hope you are feeling better.

  2. Really? There is something like "reading minds"? I thought that it always about obedience. You always doing your best, but only what he told you to do...

    1. Evidently some people expect their s-types to provide a lot of anticipatory service. My Master does not, which is lucky for me because I'd suck at it. I'm good at following orders though.

  3. I found this to be very good. Thank you for finding it and sharing it.

  4. I like the regular person with a celebrity example. That's kind of how I behave toward him. He has a presence that just commands that kind of - he's above me - treatment. If he asks for something, I get it, if there are options, I tell him what they are so he can choose. But he often prefers to get things for himself too, so it's not like he puts me in the position of waiting on him hand and foot all the time, which is nice. I like that he doesn't need me to do everything for him, in the kitchen, for example. He's a very competent man and knows what he's doing in there.

    As for bringing him a sandwhich too if he asked for a coke, definitely not. If he wants a sandwich he'll say so. If I were to bring him something extra, he wouldn't want it. If he asks for a coke, I'd get a coke, and at most, if we hadn't eaten anything yet, I'd ask while getting it if he wanted something to eat too.


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