No, there is no sex in this post.
Our littlest kid (hereafter LK), who is 8, has been planning a Mother's Day surprise all week, which I think is just the sweetest thing ever.
However his fantasy plan involved some elements that are just not not going to happen. I guess it is always a good time to learn to adapt fantasy to real life considerations, and to be flexible.
Starting with the breakfast in bed. It is a tradition that he picked up from somewhere, school or TV or the funny papers, I'm not sure. I have never in my life been served breakfast in bed, except in the hospital, and that doesn't really count. I'm a morning person, and even on a Sunday I wake up early, lying still and quiet for what seems like hours on the off chance that Master will wake up and want to use me. By 7:00am the need for coffee overtakes the desire for waiting on the possibility of sex and I get up.
LK is waiting in the hall, perfectly silent, and begins to complain that it is Mother's Day and I should stay in bed. I tell him I can't sleep any more and need coffee. He wants to make the coffee for me, but is frustrated by the pot, and the fact that everything is hard to do, and too tall for him. So I help him make the coffee. Then he goes off to play.
After about an hour, he comes back in and wants to go wake up his Dad. I tell him he can't do that; Dad likes to sleep in.
"But how are we going to make your surprise? I need Dad!"
"Well, we will have to wait until he comes down," I say.
Patience, Grasshopper, I want to say, but I don't.
Eventually, LK gets hungry so I make him some breakfast.
When Master comes down, somewhat before 9:00, they kick me out of the kitchen and now the sounds and smells are really getting enticing...
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