Master has invited me to stop by his work for lunch, so this will just be a quick note before I'm out of here.
Sometimes the fact that I am all about pleasing him has a settling and relaxing effect on me. Last night was all about his pleasure. A massage, foot rub, cock sucking and then a quick fuck while he hit me with a cane (reverse cowgirl, if you must imagine how that works- NOT my favorite position). I had contradictory feelings flying around. First was that I should be enjoying this more than I was. But I wasn't. I was enjoying pleasing him, but for my own sexual feelings, honestly, not that much going on down there until right at the end when I started feeling all "Oooh, more, more". But then it was bedtime. I relaxed into the covers feeling contented that I had satisfied him, that I was a good slave.
Sometimes that is the best thing for my attitude, when he calls me his little cocksucking hole, his bit of tissue to be used for his orgasm.
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ReplyDeleteIn the times that it is just about his pleasure, its then when i enjoy it the most, but not necessarily at the time, but more afterwards, i need to feel that i have given him what he needs, and that his needs are more important than mine.
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I admit that I have come late to this sort of pleasure. This is new for me, maybe the last 6 months or so. Before that I would have mostly been feeling only a heavy dose of frustration, while trying to talk myself down, so I'm happy with this. It feels like progress. I still have no illusions that there won't be backsliding, but for now I'm good.
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