It is the day of our trip, and I'm deliriously excited. I can't wait to see everyone again and watch/participate in the shenanigans. Several people have plans with me, in addition to playing with Master.
Last night I had been given the order to be pushy, in fact to be the aggressive one. To "pounce" on him, he said. I don't think I quite managed pushy or aggressive in bed, but when he told me to get in bed I presented him with a wicked cane, one made from a miniblind rod. It has edges to it.
He said "You're not going to like that one, but I guess you have the others already packed?" His favorite cane was already packed, but it was right there in a bag by the dresser. I could have gotten it for him. But he said pushy, and I suppose picking the second most wicked cane he has is my way of being that.
He said, "Ah, well, on the bed". I lay face down and he warmed me up, then gave me some hard swats, then some stroking of my sore butt, which was exquisitely sensitive and which made me moan and squirm. He gave me more little taps interspersed with hard strokes, and more stroking with his fingertips. It was a wonderful experience and why I love canes so much.
He gave me some practice on the new orgasm command while he fucked me. I'm not sure I'm allowed to say what it is, so for now it will be a secret. He said too many of our friends knew the old command, "Iowa", and were using it against me. It was funny to him at first, but then he got tired of it eventually. He deprogrammed that particular command.
Overall, I'm now feeling much better about life and everything. The technique I was talking about in a post a few days ago, Dealing with fear through submission, seems to be working. I no longer feel like I'm holding my breath, or in a half panicked state, or feel like I'm going to cry anytime I look at our place or he mentions moving to me. I feel like whatever happens, I can cope, and I can find the beauty in life.
Also, our niece had a surgery this week for something that might have been cancer, but IT'S NOT. So I'm just incredibly happy and grateful about that. She is 18 years old.
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