Just a little example of how punishment really does work for me.
I have heard all kinds of arguments about how punishment never works, but in the end the only important question or argument is "Does it work in your relationship?" One can't really extrapolate that to either working in every M/s relationship or not working for anyone.
About 6 months ago I was more than half an hour late to a dentist appointment for one of the kids. Master had been waiting there for me, with the other kid, and the staff were expressing some annoyance to him-- "Where is she???? Why isn't she back yet???"
I hadn't made any side trips, but I wasn't rushing either, and I probably could have been a bit more efficient, or left a bit earlier. Master was pretty angry with me when I finally got there, and later that night he punished me memorably enough.
So yesterday afternoon I was considering slipping in one more very quick errand before going to another kids dentist appointment, but a memory of that punishment flared up, and I changed my plan.
I arrived at the dentist 2 minutes early.
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This to me is exactly why punishment works for us, its point is not just to 'put things right' or atone...although those are important for me, but to get the message home that he is not pleased...and yep it should in my mind serve as a reminder not to make the same error again.
ReplyDeletex
The atonement is important for me at the time too. The reminder can be long lasting, for sure.
DeletePunishments work for us. I find that I don't always remember verbal warnings - but I will remember a spanking that really stings.
ReplyDeleteThis makes me think of a little saying:
Delete"First to teach them WHAT to do. Then you teach them HOW BAD you want them to do it". Punishment falls under the second part.
how funny that you've heard all these arguments about how punishment never working! really?! I've had the reverse - seem to have read a lot of 'you MUST have punishment' and 'it isn't D/s or M/s or any kind of power exchange if you don't have punishment'
ReplyDeleteAs you say, the only important thing is if it works for your relationship. Very interesting how it works for you!
I have heard those arguments too. I'm definitely an advocate for no "one true way" and each relationship having its own path.
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