Thursday, May 28, 2015

Twisted Up

I haven't really felt like writing much here.  I have been all twisted around lately, ever since Tuesday, I guess.  No real reason that I know of, just my brain out to get me again.  In fact I wrote a huge long ranty thing this morning but never posted it anywhere.  Instead I saved it in a document to think about later.  Now I'm regretting that I wrote it and don't want Master to read it, but it is too late because I already told him I wrote it and he said to save it for him.  I hate that feeling of doom.

I also hate filling out employment applications with a passion.  Hate. Hate. Hate.  

7 comments:

  1. Well, sometimes i find that writing out a rant helps me in getting things in perspective, and yeah im sure you have seen some of my rants lol....im allowed to rant on my blog, and so long as i really dont cross a line in being disrespectful im never punished for it, its my place to vent.

    Its better out than in, dont you think?

    x

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    Replies
    1. Yes, it does always have to come out for me, as he doesn't want me just saying nothing if I'm feeling bad. It is frustrating for me when some issue really tags at my brain, and I think I should just get over it, but for some reason I can't. We talked a lot last night about the whys of things. Why am I feeling this way, why he does what he does, and what he will be doing differently. I think that really helped. After talking a bit some different motivations came out that I hadn't really suspected I had.

      Delete
  2. Like tori says, it is better out. It would be worse when it finally bubbles up and you snap and do something that gets you punished and then no one is happy

    -ash

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's true. It is always better for me to write out calmly what I'm thinking (rant is more in my head- by the time it gets to the page I have mellowed it out) than to just be crabby, but that is no good at all.

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  3. 2cts ...
    If emotions turn into a rant ... maybe you kept them in to long already ?

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    Replies
    1. Well, the thing is, I hadn't kept them in. I'd kept saying the same thing over and over, thinking I was being helpful, but really he'd already decided how he was going to handle me. When he explained the whys a lot more last night, and also he did change one thing (which actually is something that I didn't want changed, but that he thought would solve my problem, not the problem I thought I had, but the underlying problem that I actually had that was causing the one I thought I had) then I felt happier and better about the whole thing. I know this is vague, sorry.

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    2. Not so vague. A causes B, B causes C. He acted on A. :)

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