Saturday, January 23, 2016
Day 3: How Did You Discover You Were Kinky?
For as long as I can remember I have had fantasies, but I didn't think of them as kinky fantasies, and I was ashamed of them, so much that I didn't admit to anyone that I had them.
What was really a turning point from something I didn't talk about to something I actively sought out was the internet.
I went from reading erotica (googling "bondage") to participating in a forum, the BDSM Library, and realized that people were actually doing the things I fantasized about.
It wasn't that I didn't know about BDSM, but that I imagined it was like this: KINK and this. Neither of those things were at all like my fantasies, which were rather less sexy and more permanent.
My fantasy looked more like this: Harem slave, or even like Roots, the tv series. You see how that could be so far beyond the acceptable as to be shame-filled?
And I didn't associate the two things at all in my mind until I began to participate in the forum. That is when I began to associate my fantasies with what could actually be done in real life.
I brought the idea of bringing a little light kink in the bedroom to Decius_Mus, and the idea of being his submissive. He said not just yes, but "Oh hell yes!" so that's how it started. He liked the idea of me being submissive, in fact he'd teased me for years about becoming Baptists or some other traditionally male dominated religion so that I'd have to obey him as my husband.
It wasn't all easy, but we worked it out.
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