Saturday, February 6, 2016

30 Days of Kink: Difficult Aspect of BDSM

Day 16: What are the most difficult aspects of having a sexuality that involves kink or BDSM for you personally?

The hardest part is when I don't have any.  I find myself desperately wanting it, unable to have it, and feeling all out of sorts in my whole life because I haven't had a hard beating in a while.  That's the most difficult part for me.   Also, I hate, hate, hate asking for it (Yes, I do feel unslavey and all wrong asking, even though I try not to feel that way- wanting not to feel that way doesn't help how I actually feel).  But I will ask anyway because am missing it so badly. Master encourages me to ask for it- sometimes he makes me ask or beg.  

Then I end up feeling guilty either way: on one side, guilty for asking for something, or the other, guilty for not asking even though I know he would like me to.   It's kind of a stupid situation to be in, but one that I don't know the way around.  


2 comments:

  1. Ohhh, I understand that. I also hate asking for it, and I do it and when I don't get it I fight the urge to get cranky about it. haha. Way awesome slave behavior! Woot!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes! Being "not cranky" can be more difficult than it sounds.

      Delete

It's been three years

  It's been three years, which seems both like a lifetime and a blink of an eye.  I still feel the heavy weight of the unfairness that a...