Saturday, February 6, 2016

30 Days of Kink: Difficult Aspect of BDSM

Day 16: What are the most difficult aspects of having a sexuality that involves kink or BDSM for you personally?

The hardest part is when I don't have any.  I find myself desperately wanting it, unable to have it, and feeling all out of sorts in my whole life because I haven't had a hard beating in a while.  That's the most difficult part for me.   Also, I hate, hate, hate asking for it (Yes, I do feel unslavey and all wrong asking, even though I try not to feel that way- wanting not to feel that way doesn't help how I actually feel).  But I will ask anyway because am missing it so badly. Master encourages me to ask for it- sometimes he makes me ask or beg.  

Then I end up feeling guilty either way: on one side, guilty for asking for something, or the other, guilty for not asking even though I know he would like me to.   It's kind of a stupid situation to be in, but one that I don't know the way around.  


2 comments:

  1. Ohhh, I understand that. I also hate asking for it, and I do it and when I don't get it I fight the urge to get cranky about it. haha. Way awesome slave behavior! Woot!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes! Being "not cranky" can be more difficult than it sounds.

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