Sunday, February 7, 2016

30 Days of Kink: Misconceptions About It

Day 17: What misconception about kinky people would you most like to clear up?

There are so many I could practically go on all day.

1.  We're all doing this differently. And that's ok.  Me being a slave doesn't have to look like you being a slave, or him or her down the way being a slave.  One person's Master may do things totally different than another, and neither of them has to be wrong! They are just different.  Some slaves work regular jobs, some stay home to work in the house.   Some slaves get punished, others don't.  Some slaves kneel, others don't.  Some slaves are naked, others are not except for sex and showers.  Some slaves are allowed to be mouthy, others are not.  Some slaves are sluts, and some are not.

2.  My kinks are not the result of a fucked up childhood.  Maybe some people's are, but not all, maybe not even most.  And there are  plenty of people with terrible events in their past who are NOT kinky.  I am not driven by inner demons.  If you are, that's ok, make those demons your bitch, but don't assume that's me too. 

3.  Being kinky doesn't make your kids all screwed up.  Parents have sex, fact of life. That's how they got to be parents.  Vanilla parents don't have sex in front of the kids.  It is the same for us.  We don't do the kink or the sex in front of the kids.  So stop with the "How do you do 24/7 M/s with kids in the house?" stuff already.  The same way people are married with kids in the house, obviously.  M/s is not only about sex.

4.  Being a slave doesn't magically transform you into a perfect super human.  Yes, slaves get cranky, jealous, tired, angry, sick, irrational etc. etc.  But just like when you have a job to do or kids to care for even though you are in a bad mood, one can still be a slave even during all those feelings.  Maybe not the most smiley, pleasant slave, but still a slave.

5.  Being kinky doesn't make any of us some kind of uber human, better than vanilla.  A D/s or M/s relationship is not automatically better or deeper than any other.  It can be shallow or deep, fulfilling or frustrating, temporary or permanent, depending on the people, and the work and time put into it.  

6.  How I live my life doesn't affect you, or the newbies, or anyone else for that matter.   I'm not a role model, not a pinnacle of anything; I don't want people to be like me.  When I say I have no limits of my own and can't leave, that doesn't mean I think anyone else should do the same, unless that is what THEY need!  You do you, I will do me.  Well, actually, Master will do me, but you know what I mean.  

Whew! I'm going to stop now.



  1. This post should be required reading for all...I have 'preached' all of this..but you write it much better..
    hugs abby

  2. Eloquent and concise. Thank you!
    PS love the collar.


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