Dope Slap

Why is it that I need one of those over and over again for the same thing?   It's like I can't quite get it through my head that he can do whatever he wants and I don't get to be all butt hurt about it.

Wednesday night he gave me a hard flogging, and some other beatings, so I was all tenderized.  Then he lay back to read while I gave him a blow job.  Now this was rather humiliating for me.  I'm there, doing my darnedest to please.
And he's reading.   But I didn't get distracted, or break down, or whine.  I did my best.

Later he fucked me and made me cum, but the orgasm broke down my last bit of held back emotion and I broke down in tears. 

He stopped, made me tell him what was wrong.   So I told him.   His answer was the metaphorical dope slap.  Of course he can do whatever he wants.  It is not a reflection on me, it is what makes him happy that counts, and he is enjoying me his way.  If he wants to read during blow jobs he is damn well going to do that.   This made me feel all better, back to even keel.  He knows how I feel, he accepts that, and I can accept that is how it is too.    That is how I need it to be in fact.    I wouldn't feel it was right any other way. 

I know this, but I need reminders every so often.   Thus, the dope slap.