Tuesday, September 4, 2012

Question/Answer 5 and 6

Have you been or are you in a dominant/submissive dynamic relationship or is this new to you?

It has been a little over a year, so fairly new, but no longer brand new.  I think we have lived pretty thoroughly in the last year, that is, I think we have come a long way together.

Have you been in more than one D/s relationship?

No, actually, in my whole life I have only been in one serious romantic relationship.  Master and I started dating when I was 16 and he was 18.  Before that I had one not-very-serious boyfriend. 

How were they the same? How were they different?

I have no comparisons.

 What is unique about your relationships in your mind?

We are two unique individuals, and how we approach this is going to be different than how others conduct their relationships.    Some things about us:  we have a strong sense of humor that tends to infect every part of our lives.  We believe in work and duty coming first before fun (well, he believes this more than I do, and I have to go along with it).    We get along incredibly well when he makes the decisions and I follow them.   I enjoy harmony, and hate making decisions.  He is very decisive, and likes to be in charge.  His leadership style includes asking for input and opinions from me, but he makes the final decisions.   I sometimes think our entire relationship, vanilla and equal as it seemed at the time, was more based in something of an unacknowledged  D/s format than I want to admit.  I was just always fighting back against it.   Sometimes successfully, sometimes not so much.  

What do you feel are the roots of your submission?

This is one of those unanswerables that drives me crazy.  I have no idea, and endless speculations have not led me anywhere near an answer.  

Do you think it has something to do with childhood?

I don't think so.  If anything, this is just how I am.  Or how I have become over time.  Oh heck, I don't know.

Is it a relationship management tool as in the practice of domestic discipline?

I'm thinking the answer is probably not.  We are not primarily about discipline.  My Master has not that much interest in punishing me for real.   When it has to be done, he does it, because I need it, but it is not something he enjoys. 

 Is it a sexual thrill or something else?

It absolutely is about the sexual thrill, for both of us.  Yes!   Submitting, and being forced to submit,  gives me a thrill, and power does the same for him.  Months ago I asked him what his favorite thing about having a Master/slave relationship was and his answer was "Bending you to my will". 

The big question for me is how did we get by with only vanilla for so long?


  1. Michael from Germany; the answer of your big question is, that you both 'play' the same game. In former times, with vanilla sex, you did so. Then, if you explored your bdsm desires, you both were seperated. Then, as he gave you what you wanted, you both were reunioned. So you played and now you are playing again the same play, which you named vanilla und which you now call a master-slave relation. The game itself without identiifiers is simply called love ....

    1. What you wrote has a kind of a poetry to it.


Morning Hotness

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