Sunday, September 30, 2012

Pain and Humiliation- Question 29

Is pain or humiliation (spankings for example) a part of your submission? What is your relationship to it? Do you embrace it as a part of your submission, tolerate it as necessary or have some other type of relationship with it?

I'd say it is a big part of our relationship.   It is usually not something that I tolerate because I am submissive or a slave, it is something I need and crave with an intensity that scares me sometimes.    Both pain and humiliation turn me on.   They make sex more intense and enjoyable for me. They make me cum.  He sometimes uses flogging or other types of light pain as a reward for me.   One day he came home and said "The bathroom really looks great today, slave, I can tell you put in some time on cleaning that.  You'll get your reward tonight when I beat the shit out of you."

It also makes me feel more submissive to receive a daily flogging/caning/cropping.   It makes everything feel all right with my world and if I don't get that regularly I start to feel out of sorts and crabby.   

If he really wants to torment me he'll make be choose between flogging and fucking.  I beg to be allowed both, but he just likes to see me squirming in trying to make a choice.  I don't like having to choose.  If he picked one or the other for me and not both, fine, I'm happy.  If he makes me choose, I squirm and try to get out of having to decide.  

Then there are those other times.  I can't really ignore them in this discussion, although I'd like to.  Sometimes I don't really want pain.  Or it goes on longer/harder/more painful than I like.   At those times I do take it because I'm submissive and his slave.  I take it because I'm his and because it fulfills an even deeper need in me than just the need for pleasure.   It fulfills my need to submit to pain and humiliation for him.  This gets to the root of what it is really all about for me. 

Afterward, I'm usually in subspace, and floating around on a happy cloud of endorphins.  

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