Thursday, March 21, 2013

Fantasy and Women

Fantasy.  What does it call to mind?   

 I used to think I was, maybe not alone, but in a tiny minority, of women who have fantasies that are powerful, rather extreme, violent, even disgusting and degrading.    Come to find out, many of my friends, the non-vanilla ones, have the same types of fantasies, and are in various stages of acceptance or guilt/shame about those fantasies.   It is one thing to say "Oh, yes, we should be accepting of ourselves and our desires and fantasies, even the ones that will never be acted out", it is another when a specific fantasy that really gets one going is so disturbing that it induces guilt and shame, just having it in one's mind.  Getting to a place of acceptance is not so easy all the time.

Many of us are also required to share those fantasies with a Master, and his reaction can have a huge impact on us.   In some cases it can make or break a relationship.   Not reacting with horror to an extreme fantasy tells the other person, "I accept you, all of you, even the parts that you prefer to keep hidden from the world".    

My Master has heard my fantasies, and some of them he draws out for use in our play, and others are better just left as fantasy. 

2 comments:

  1. Well said!
    Acceptance of fantasy is not always easy...But it helps when Master doesn't treat you like green goo on his shoe after you share.

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  2. Gosh yes its sometimes difficult to let go and reveal our innermost desires/fantasies, and he encourages it and has never made me feel 'less' when i have.

    and definitley agree that some fantasies are best left as such!

    x

    ReplyDelete

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