Friday, March 8, 2013

Intimacy and Surrender

A well bruised ass makes a happy slave today. 

Thursday.   Myst was home from her vacation, and our date day was back on again. 

   We talked for a long time, the two of them sitting on the couch and me kneeling on the floor at their feet. I wore a silk nightie, my leather collar and cuffs.  I forgot all about serving the coffee that I had ready to brew with just the one button to push.  They didn't mention coffee either.

There is nothing new that I could possibly share with Master about my past or present feelings and life.  He knows it all, as I try to be as transparent as I possibly can without blabbering on about random thoughts that flit through my head.  But with Myst, each of us has a lifetime of unshared experiences, emotions, some sadnesses and hard times that we slowly uncover in the getting to know each other process.  I will admit that I have hardly even cracked the surface of my own inner life.  I don't open up easily.

Intimacy in discussion lead into a lovely, long, intimate and painful playtime.  Myst started with saran wrapping my arms to my sides. 

 I felt a bit like a helpless sausage! 

She bent me over the coffee table and tried out her new canes (acquired at Sin in the City-Las Vegas just this week).  I wish I had taken pictures of them.   One was a spiral unicorn horn shape and looked a lot like a wand from Harry Potter, only longer.   It was very lightweight, but perhaps because of the spirals, very painful.   The other was very thin plastic, and didn't seem quite as bad as it looked.   Or they were going easy with it.  Hard for me to say.

At one point, Master was beating me with something, I don't even know what the implement was, perhaps a leather paddle, over and over again in the same damn spot.  It was starting to get nearly intolerable.  I started fighting to get away, shaking my head, crazily jerking about.  Then the fight went out of me, I melted into acceptance and surrender.   The pain just didn't matter any more; I could take it.   At the same time as it was a surrender, it was a very powerful moment for me.   A moment of finding inner strength to accept and give in.  

Physical surrender is far easier than emotional surrender though.


  1. I usually do not create a comment, however I read some of the comments on "Intimacy and Surrender".
    I actually do have 2 questions for you if it's allright. Could it be only me or do some of the remarks come across like they are left by brain dead people? :-P And, if you are posting at additional social sites, I would like to follow anything new you have to post. Would you post a list of all of all your public pages like your twitter feed, Facebook page or linkedin profile?

    my page:

  2. No, I haven't seen any remarks from braindead people.
    And no, I won't link to Facebook or other sites.
    If you are on Fetlife you can look me up there under my same name as here: ancilla_ksst


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