Friday, November 23, 2012
That service thing
Here service is a part of ownership; because I'm his slave he expects me to do whatever tasks he wants done. Before I was a slave or a submissive there really was no service component as a part of my nature or inclination. I would do things that had to be done, but with no feeling that I was doing them for any other reason. Service is done with an intent to serve. Othewise it is just stuff that needs to be done. So laundry was just laundry, an annoying task that has to be done. Getting tea for him, or other types of personal service, was something that would cause me to think "Is there a piano tied to your leg?" or just to say it straight out.
Those types of things were only done with the greatest reluctance, foot dragging, and often procrastination. Being held accountable for getting his tasks accomplished on time was a significant part of my enslavement. I generally have a list of things to get done in a day. The tasks he has given me have first priority, and after that come the ones I have set for myself to do. This gives me comfort and security in being a slave.
Something switched over in me when I became owned. It wasn't automatic or instantaneous, but it came of a different mindset, one of wanting to be pleasing, the occasional discipline when I failed to serve adequately, (generally mild, although when I just flat out said NO to dish washing one time, very early on, he punished me physically). I enjoy the positive reinforcement of seeing how happy he is with me when I do things for him, plus the occasional pat on the head and "good slave" which goes back to the wanting to be pleasing. I'd say it was his training that did a lot of the work in switching my attitude.
Now I feel much less selfish, almost as if I have been given permission to be of service, rather than required to do it. It's like a doorway opened for me that I had kept slammed shut before.
When the morning is cold, like this morning, and he says he doesn't want to get out of bed, I will offer to go fetch his robe and bring it to him. He said no this time, but then told me to get up and make him tea, and I was glad for the opportunity.
He is not as much into the anticipatory service thing. He doesn't expect his tea to be made precisely at 7:00 every morning. He enjoys ordering me to make the tea, and I get a little kick out of being ordered to do it, or any other little task for him.
It often doesn't look different how than how some wives treat their husbands. I know other women who are service oriented, but not slaves or property at all. That is how they relate to others, maybe because of their nature or how they were raised. I also know a few men that relate to their wives this way, without being slaves or submissives in the BDSM sense. Interestingly enough, to me, my brother is a lot like that. I can just picture the contented smile on his face as he brings my sister in law her first cup of coffee of the morning.
Borrowing a topic from ti-ti-oo on fetlife.
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