Come As You Are

I've just started reading a sex book (shocking, I know!), Come As You Are, by Emily Nagoski.   Anywhere you go can find the basic facts, but this book really delves into the deeper stuff, the "whys" and best of all doesn't try to tell us that we should all be the same. 

Nagoski has this brakes/accelerator model to explain sexual desire and eagerness.  A quote: 

The sexual response mechanism in your brain has both an accelerator — which responds to sexy things — and a brake — which responds to potential threats, like STIs, unwanted pregnancy, social reputation, sexual shame, and body self-criticism. The process of becoming aroused is the process of both turning on all the ons and turning off all the offs. - See more at: http://xoxoafterdark.com/2015/03/04/5-sex-myths-busted-dr-emily-nagoski/#sthash.WOgRdmEq.dpuf

The sexual response mechanism in your brain has both an accelerator — which responds to sexy things — and a brake — which responds to potential threats, like STIs, unwanted pregnancy, social reputation, sexual shame, and body self-criticism. The process of becoming aroused is the process of both turning on all the ons and turning off all the offs. - See more at: http://xoxoafterdark.com/2015/03/04/5-sex-myths-busted-dr-emily-nagoski/#sthash.WOgRdmEq.dpuf

The sexual response mechanism in your brain has both an accelerator — which responds to sexy things — and a brake — which responds to potential threats, like STIs, unwanted pregnancy, social reputation, sexual shame, and body self-criticism. The process of becoming aroused is the process of both turning on all the ons and turning off all the offs.

 I think anyone that is having trouble with flagging desires, is too stressed out for feeling like sexy times, or feeling discomfort with themselves in any way should probably check this book out.  I haven't read the whole thing yet, but I'm really liking it.  Even if you are not having a sex problem, it is a good read. 

My Master was so helpful too.  Last night I got to the worksheet part of the book where you are supposed to write out at least one primo sexual experience and one that was not horrible, but not really great either, some sex that was just ok.

I told him I was going to use the night before as the good experience but I couldn't think of a bad one in enough detail to write anything.  As you might imagine, any sex that is forgettable is, well, forgotten.  No one has A+ sex all the time!

So, he shoves my book out of the way before I've written anything and says "I'll give you some worst-sex-ever to write about!"  No preliminaries at all, I'm just getting fucked.  Then he tells me I better start struggling because he's raping me.  He's taking me from behind, and I can't hardly move with all his weight on me.  I do my best to get away, and finally manage it by digging my fingers into a tender spot on him. His cock slides out.  He responds by rolling me on to my back and digging his fingers into the pressure points on my inner thighs.  I go limp- it is the only reaction I ever have to that sort of pain.  

He fucks me again, and I'm limp and my eyes are rolling back. I'm in freaking heaven.  
He's 'raped' me, he's hurt me-- "worst sex ever" my ass!  
 

 

Emily Nagoski

Emily Nagoski