Last night after the kids were in bed and the chores were done we sat on the couch and had a good talk about what was up with me (uncertainty about the future and whoremoans mainly, the same old stuff).
We talked about what is going on in the rest of our lives. We have two offers on our house this week but Master doesn't think he wants to move or sell it anymore. So we talked about that. Real life stuff. Ugh. I floated the idea of selling everything, moving to a tropical island and selling shell necklaces on the beach for a living. He could doctor the island's puppies and kitties in exchange for weed.
"I've got my toes in the water and and my ass in the sand..."
Anyway, such are the daydreams of a frozen Northlander.
I told him I felt guilty about not having a job. He told me to quit that. He didn't see any way that I could work outside the home and still take care of everything here, and he would not allow it anyway. He needs me to be here at home. This has been decided. I don't have to feel guilty if it is an order.
After that he took me upstairs, gave me a hard and very pleasurable/painful caning, and I sucked him off.
It is a bit surreal in a weird and wonderful way being made to sing along to "Rainbow Connection" while the cane stings ones ass.
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Probably not very practical but it is nice to fantasize about living on a tropical island.
ReplyDeleteFD
That uncertainty is killer. I'm right there with you right now and the stress is overwhelming sometimes. That damned unknown. Our minds race about possibilities and then BAM…overwhelmed. UGH. I'm sure the talk…oh and the caning helped…though I'm not sure Rainbow Connection helps =)
ReplyDeletehugs,
fiona
The ordering is something that is a wonderful benefit I didn't anticipate...
ReplyDeleteI honestly didn't think him just telling me to stop stressing about something would work at all.
Then there was this issue with a relative that kept getting up my nose to the point where he suggested I just needed to let it go.
I really wanted to, but couldn't, so begged him to order me to let it go! He laughed but obliged - and it worked, happily!
When the issue raises it's head I just remember he's ordered me not feel responsible about it so I just mentally skip off in the other direction, singing with relief!
I feel more quotations from Slavecraft coming on.... I know a lot of people don't identify with this book, but I find some of the things he says just keep coming back to me in helpful ways. Maybe I'll do another blog here in a bit...
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